so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
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Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
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I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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