Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
