So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We got so high we made milksteak
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
