And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
