the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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