Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
