It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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