I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I am available for nakedness
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
