Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
