At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
