did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
