Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
