Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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