dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
