Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
