What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
