I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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