really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
