This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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