Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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