i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
