who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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