my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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