Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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