I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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