the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
