I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
