My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
