this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And my parents said I crawled through the house
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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