i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
