she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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