Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My vagina is officially offended.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize