Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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