When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
