remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
