Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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