You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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