Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she pinky promised me she was 18
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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