I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
