i'm signing you up for texting rehab
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
