I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
