Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
