you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
