So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
