So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
