So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
