My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
