Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
