I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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