his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
