If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
