my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
