I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
