It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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