I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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