John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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