i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
please come you make the beer taste better
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
