his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
