'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize