I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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