I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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