i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
