you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
