I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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