let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
