i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
